Jupiter Ascending

The Wachowski siblings are a talented duo but they haven’t managed to produce a film as good as The Matrix. Their latest is a space opera adventure starring Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis that has been panned worldwide. Does Jupiter Ascending deserve all the criticism it’s getting?

Jupiter Jones (Kunis) is an ordinary girl who cleans toilets for a living. Her life changes when she meets Caine (Tatum) an alien soldier, and realises she’s actually genetically identical to a dead alien queen and therefore is the owner of Earth. However the dead queen’s three devious children are all making plans against Jupiter. Can Caine save her?

Considering how many films are sequels, remakes or based on existing franchises you have to admire the Wachowskis for trying to produce something original. However when the end result is Jupiter Ascending it’s no wonder audience are rushing to see the latest Marvel movie instead. On the one hand Jupiter Ascending is never boring and there are some laughs to be had. Unfortunately none of it is intentional. Perhaps a bit more intended humour or some knowing winks at the audience would have been a bit bearable but everything is so serious that it’s hard to take the film seriously.

While some of the visuals are fine the script is poor with lines such as bees can tell if you’re lying and apparently they can also recognise royalty. I feel sorry for actors like Sean Bean (playing a bee/human hybrid Stinger Apini- yes it’s that kind of movie) having to be the one having to say such dubious lines of the film. Still at least he keeps a straight face while saying these lines. Him and Tatum look like they are trying to approach the film seriously while Kunis looks like she’s bored through most of the movie. Maybe because she’s constantly playing the damsel in distress throughout the film.

Then there’s the House of Abrasax family, who are the dead queen’s children. It seems as though the three siblings (Eddie Redmayne, Tuppence Middleton and Douglas Booth) were directed to ham it up as large as possible, with Redmayne the worst offender. Middleton’s Kalique is perhaps the most interesting of the three but unfortunately she’s the one we see the least. Instead we get Redmayne’s Balem hamming it up in his plots against Jupiter and Booth’s Titus in a bizarre quest to try to marry his mother’s clone. And no one mentions how creepy that is.

Despite its flaws I could see Jupiter Ascending become some kind of cult classic in the future for those who like it’s camp ‘charm’.  It’s just a shame because you can tell that those involved wanted it to be taken much more seriously than that.

Rating 2/5 – ridiculous and dumb but it’s never dull


Filed under Reviews

8 responses to “Jupiter Ascending

  1. There were so many sub-plots that this film couldn’t handle it. I feel like if the Wachowskis stripped it back and focused on a few things and saved the rest for possible sequels it would have fared much better. Good review, Lauren!

  2. smilingldsgirl

    To me this was so over-the-top I was entertained. It was kind of like watching a soap opera and entertaining on that level. I think some critics took it too seriously

  3. I had planned to watch this film. Then I found out what it was about and how it was executed and I just couldn’t do it. Life’s too short. But I appreciate you taking one for the team and sitting through it so I could read this review. I enjoyed it. Thanks!

    • Thanks, the things I do for this blog! It would probably be easier to watch on tv than in the cinema if you did change your mind. Thanks for following my blog too!

  4. Hi Lauren cool review yo, I watched this film with my dad and csister in the cinema and at one point I turned to my sister and said “I have no idea what’s going on.” Things were happening and I just went with it, but I wasn’t taking it in. I liked the visuals and the soundtrack was pretty cool, but everything else wasn’t good at all especially Redmayne who was just ridiculous, he talked so quietly and then would freak out with loud outbursts. He was pretty funny though.

    • Yes Redmayne was hilarious. If this film was a parady then everyone would have done a great job but unfortunately it’s all intended to be serious!

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